| On Monday night September 3rd at approx. 10:04 p.m.(petes mustache time) the legend himself was killed during an attack by a razor. With a net worth of 2.3 billion. Including estates in L.A., Michigan, an a condo by Central Park. Leaving behind his first newborn son, Stache Jr. Currently 24 women are claiming to be the mother of Stache Jr. While upwards of 1,765 other women are claiming to have offspring of Petes Mustache, who they all claim are the rightful heir to his vast wealth. |
| submitted by: pete himself (2007-09-06 12:12:15) |
| Pete's Mustache committed suicide last night...and survived |
| submitted by: P.J. (2007-09-06 09:18:58) |
| Pete's Mustache had sex with a Mexican whore, 9 months later there was the Dirty Sanchez |
| submitted by: Chesley (2007-09-06 08:05:08) |
| Pete's mustache got a perm, Pete got beat up. |
| submitted by: Charlie Sheen (2007-09-06 02:20:33) |
| Pete's mustache invented global warming, because it forget its sweater. |
| submitted by: neil (2007-09-06 02:14:24) |
| Pete's mustache introduced the Olsen Twins to puberty. |
| submitted by: Lindsay (2007-09-06 02:06:00) |
| Pete believes in Christ.... Pete's mustache believes in the upper lip. |
| submitted by: (2007-09-06 02:01:50) |
| Pete's mustache has a coke habit... Pete has a mustache habit. |
| submitted by: Hunter (2007-09-06 01:59:44) |
| Jesus only loved one woman.... Pete's mustache. |
| submitted by: God (2007-09-06 01:57:00) |
| Justin Timberlake hired Pete's Mustache for his next video. |
| submitted by: Lindsay (2007-09-06 01:55:47) |
| Pete's Mustache jumped over Niagara Falls in a barrel and lived. |
| submitted by: Lindsay (2007-09-06 01:54:11) |
| Pete's Mustache tanned for five days straight and gave Pete skin cancer. |
| submitted by: Neil (2007-09-06 01:53:17) |
| Pete's mustache introduced malaria to south america then indirectly found the cure. |
| submitted by: Neil (2007-09-06 01:49:28) |
| Pete's mustache gave me a blowjob and never called me again. |
| submitted by: Neil (2007-09-06 01:46:58) |
| Pete's mustache bombed Pearl Harbor and declared defeat at the same time. |
| submitted by: Neil (2007-09-06 01:45:46) |
| I once did a luge off Pete's mustache. |
| submitted by: Sexx with a mustache (2007-09-06 01:45:37) |
| Pete's mustache sprained kerry strugs ankle for the russians. |
| submitted by: Neil (2007-09-06 01:44:31) |
| Pete's Mustache decided that all of Doc Drew's Pete's Mustache jokes weren't funny, so Pete's Mustache will be taking a crap in Doc Drew's mouth in public next Arbor Day |
| submitted by: Little Chesley (2007-09-05 20:38:51) |
| The only thing besides Magic Johnson to beat AIDS is Pete's Mustache |
| submitted by: Little Chesley (2007-09-05 20:37:26) |
| Pete's Mustache just signed a three picture deal with Paramount. Pete is attached to direct. |
| submitted by: Hunter (2007-09-05 19:05:31) |
| There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Pete's mustache has allowed to live. |
| submitted by: Ross (2007-09-05 18:38:02) |
| Pete's Mustache is the reason why Waldo is hiding |
| submitted by: Ross (2007-09-05 18:37:03) |
| Pete's Mustache started the Palace Brawl. |
| submitted by: Justin (2007-09-05 16:57:34) |
| If you are ever to look behind Pete's Mustache, you are only to find another Mustache. |
| submitted by: Justin (2007-09-05 16:56:53) |
| When the U.S. invaded Iraq...it wasn't for WMDs..it was for Pete's Mustache |
| submitted by: P.J. (2007-09-05 16:44:10) |
| Shaq filed for divorce after catching his wife in bed with Pete's Mustache |
| submitted by: P.J. (2007-09-05 16:42:59) |
| Pete's Mustach beat up Chuck Norris's Beard |
| submitted by: Tim (2007-09-05 16:35:48) |
| Pete's mustache is kind of a big deal. |
| submitted by: John (2007-09-05 16:31:01) |
| The only thing sweeter than pete's mustache is pete's mustache with sugar on top. |
| submitted by: John (2007-09-05 16:29:24) |
| Pete's mustache was the one that tempted adam and eve to eat the fruit. |
| submitted by: John (2007-09-05 16:26:10) |
| Pete's Mustache has more illegitamate children than...uhh...that basketball player....you know, the one that had sex with all those women. |
| submitted by: Miami (2007-09-05 16:25:16) |
| When life hands pete's mustache lemons he fucks the lemons and proceeds to never call them back. |
| submitted by: John (2007-09-05 16:16:41) |
| When Pete's mustache got pulled over going 15 mph over the speed limit by the cops he gave THEM a warning and they walked away feeling grateful that that was all they got. |
| submitted by: John (2007-09-05 16:15:58) |
| Pete's mustache gets more ass than a toilet seat |
| submitted by: John (2007-09-05 16:11:08) |
| Pete's Mustache is the reason why Anthony & Eric went 13 straight wins in beer pong. (Pete's Mustache hates Marv and Rachel) |
| submitted by: Anthony (2007-09-05 16:04:13) |
| Pete's Mustache has his own Wheaties box |
| submitted by: Anthony (2007-09-05 16:00:51) |
| Jimmy Hoffa is still hiding behind Pete's Mustache |
| submitted by: Anthony (2007-09-05 15:59:41) |
| Pete's Mustache is wanted in 11 states, Canada, and Brazil |
| submitted by: Anthony (2007-09-05 15:58:51) |
| Pete's Mustache invented Al Gore |
| submitted by: Anthony (2007-09-05 15:58:11) |
| Sometimes when Pete is sleeping, Pete's Mustache jerks Pete off |
| submitted by: Anthony (2007-09-05 15:56:22) |
| Pete's Mustache only tips with hundreds |
| submitted by: Anthony (2007-09-05 15:49:43) |
| Pete went to the Emerald Ballroom and Pete's Mustache got right in, Pete had to stand and argue with the bouncer for 2 hours |
| submitted by: Anthony (2007-09-05 15:48:23) |
| Pete's Mustache contributed $50,000 to the Lupus Research Institution of America |
| submitted by: Anthony (2007-09-05 15:46:03) |
| Pete's Mustache is so dirty it makes a Mexican look clean. |
| submitted by: Haywood Jablowme (2007-09-05 15:38:24) |
| It takes four fat women and a team of Clydesdale to jack Pete's Mustache off. |
| submitted by: Anthony (2007-09-05 15:37:30) |
| Animals didn't ride the Ark w/ Noah. The Animals rode Pete's Mustache |
| submitted by: Webb (2007-09-05 15:36:43) |
| Pete's Mustache hit .370 in the minors before hurting its knee. |
| submitted by: Anthony (2007-09-05 15:36:37) |
| Pete's mustache hates Pete... when asked why he said cuz Pete can't grow a beard |
| submitted by: Marv (2007-09-05 13:17:06) |
| Pete's Mustache is the reason Webb's group doesn't know how to wear shirts. |
| submitted by: Trussler (2007-09-05 13:00:42) |
| God calls Pete's Mustache for advice on women |
| submitted by: highfield (2007-09-05 12:16:37) |
| Pete's Mustache is what the spice girls really really want |
| submitted by: highfield (2007-09-05 12:14:12) |
| Pete's Mustache is the one who nailed jesus to the cross |
| submitted by: highfield (2007-09-05 12:10:39) |
| Is that a milk mustache? No! It's Pete's Mustache! |
| submitted by: Anthony (2007-09-05 12:01:38) |
| Pete's Mustache invented global warming |
| submitted by: Eric (2007-09-05 12:00:42) |
| Pete's Mustache once lived with a wild pack of wolves before residing in Beverly Hills, marrying his beautiful wife, and having three kids. |
| submitted by: Anthony (2007-09-05 11:52:41) |
THE MAN..... THE MYTH..... THE LEGEND!!!!!!
 |
| submitted by: Marv (2007-09-05 11:43:22) |
| Pete's mustache is pissed cuz he had to read through 176 of doc drews stupid jokes |
| submitted by: Pete's Mustache (2007-09-05 10:32:59) |
| Pete's Mustache is the reason why the Dinosaurs are extinct. |
| submitted by: P.J. (2007-09-05 08:54:29) |
| the only way you can defeat pete's mustache is by making pete's mustache say "ehcatsum setep", which is "pete's mustache" backwards. |
| submitted by: doc drew (2007-09-05 03:14:08) |
| pete's mustache helped demolition squad implode a building. As a result, a butterfly in China died. |
| submitted by: doc drew (2007-09-05 03:09:39) |
| pete's mustache replaced all stop signs in his hometown with giant Playboy centerfold posters. Traffic accidents subsequently dropped to 0. |
| submitted by: doc drew (2007-09-05 03:09:11) |
| pete's mustache messed with Texas. |
| submitted by: doc drew (2007-09-05 03:08:17) |
| pete's mustache was uncool before uncool was cool. |
| submitted by: doc drew (2007-09-05 03:07:49) |
| pete's mustache converted DVD burner into toaster. Now it can burn illegal toast. |
| submitted by: doc drew (2007-09-05 03:07:20) |
| pete's mustache coined Porn's Law, which states: "The number of girls aged 18-30 who have posed nude on the internet doubles every 18 months." |
| submitted by: doc drew (2007-09-05 03:06:44) |
| pete's mustache inadvertently invented German language by attempting to spit, sing and gargle at the same time. |
| submitted by: doc drew (2007-09-05 03:05:36) |
| Pete's mustache perfected the art of origami boulder making. |
| submitted by: doc drew (2007-09-05 03:04:53) |
| pete's mustache constructed little colored lights that magically control people's minds when they're driving. Strategically placed them all over the roads. |
| submitted by: doc drew (2007-09-05 03:04:23) |
| pete's mustache taunted happy fun ball. |
| submitted by: doc drew (2007-09-05 03:02:57) |
| pete's mustache once threatened suicide jumper with machete: "Don't jump or I'll kill you!" He jumped anyway, so as a matter of principle pete's mustache went and hacked up the body. |
| submitted by: doc drew (2007-09-05 03:02:26) |
| pete's mustache developed acute and voracious appetite for the cheesiest, most unappealing 80s music in the world. |
| submitted by: doc drew (2007-09-05 03:01:46) |
| pete's mustache wrote personal, hand-written letter to CEO of Starbucks, thanking them for building a drive-through Starbucks across the street from an already existing Starbucks, beside a strip mall with another Starbucks, a Safeway and Barnes & Noble with a Starbucks inside. Before then, it was hard to find coffee in HIS town. |
| submitted by: doc drew (2007-09-05 03:00:59) |
| pete's mustache ran for Student President in high school with political party "The Dis-bandits". Won by landslide, then promptly disbanded Student Council and office of Student President. |
| submitted by: doc drew (2007-09-05 03:00:19) |
| pete's mustache helped proliferate global plague by driving the monkey to the airport. |
| submitted by: doc drew (2007-09-05 02:59:45) |
| pete's mustache discovered that 92% of all people think they are not a statistic. |
| submitted by: doc drew (2007-09-05 02:58:58) |
| pete's mustache challenged the sun in a hot contest and won. |
| submitted by: doc drew (2007-09-05 02:58:28) |
| pete's mustache invented the edible tampon. |
| submitted by: doc drew (2007-09-05 02:57:56) |
| pete's mustache once successfully lobbied for March 14 to be a statutary holiday honouring Pi. |
| submitted by: doc drew (2007-09-05 02:57:29) |
| pete's mustache won the high jump at the Wheelchair Olympics. |
| submitted by: doc drew (2007-09-05 02:56:53) |
| Little known fact. Pete's Mustache draws all its power from the tears of children. |
| submitted by: Pete himself (2007-09-05 00:41:04) |
| The Rose Bowl calls Pete's Mustache, the Grand Daddy of 'Em All |
| submitted by: Chesley (2007-09-04 23:28:25) |
| Pete's mustache had a vasectemy, and still had kids |
| submitted by: Chesley (2007-09-04 23:26:45) |
| Bill Brasky gets drunk and toasts to Pete's Mustache |
| submitted by: Chesley (2007-09-04 23:25:32) |
| Pete's mustache went on vacation to the Virgin Islands, they are now called, the Islands |
| submitted by: Chesley (2007-09-04 23:24:38) |
| Pete's Mustache is the reason Michael Jackson is white. |
| submitted by: Anthony (2007-09-04 23:18:55) |
| Pete's Mustache won the the Tour de France on a unicycle....and WITHOUT peformance enhancing drugs. |
| submitted by: P.J. (2007-09-04 23:14:06) |
| Pete's Mustache is sleeping with Pete's girlfriend, Pete doesn't know it yet |
| submitted by: Anthony (2007-09-04 22:47:17) |
| Pete's Mustache beat the Detroit Lions in football, final score, 1-0 |
| submitted by: Anthony (2007-09-04 22:46:22) |
| What Would Pete's Mustache Do? |
| submitted by: Anthony (2007-09-04 22:39:00) |
| Pete's mustache came in 2nd in the Iditarod... not impressed? He won using 12 cats |
| submitted by: Marv (2007-09-04 21:24:05) |
| Who let the dogs out? Pete's Mustache! |
| submitted by: Amanda (2007-09-04 21:15:17) |
| Pete's Mustache once saved 2,000 people during Hurricane Ditka |
| submitted by: Eric (2007-09-04 20:54:23) |
| Pete's Mustache once showed me a video of him making love to my wife, and it was the most beautiful thing I ever saw! |
| submitted by: Hunter (2007-09-04 20:12:53) |
| Pete's Mustache murdered Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson |
| submitted by: P.J. (2007-09-04 18:42:14) |
| Pete's Mustache once bowled a 301 |
| submitted by: Anthony (2007-09-04 17:21:49) |
| Pete's Mustache lost his virginity before Pete did |
| submitted by: Little Chesley (2007-09-04 17:18:42) |
| Pete's Mustache doesn't get wet, water gets Pete's Mustache |
| submitted by: Anthony (2007-09-04 17:13:44) |
| Pete's mustache is angry at pete for ever growing him |
| submitted by: Pete's Mustache (2007-09-04 16:23:02) |
| When Pete's mustache was born, it gave the doctor a circumcision. |
| submitted by: Chesley (2007-09-04 16:22:53) |
| Pete's Mustache has pitched 2 career perfect games. |
| submitted by: P.J. (2007-09-04 16:18:24) |
| Pete's Mustache can count to infinite |
| submitted by: Anthony (2007-09-04 16:13:27) |
| Pete's Mustache once did 2 chicks at the same time, while Pete watched |
| submitted by: Anthony (2007-09-04 16:11:56) |
